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Using kinship terms to address non-kin to tàojìnhū - to create an intimate and insider status when dealing with problems

 

Li Qing Kinnison

Wofford College

Spartanburg, SC 29303

Abstract

 

Using kinship terms as address forms for non-kin is a common communicative style in Chinese culture to establish a solidarity and an intimate relationship. However there are many factors influencing such a usage. Solving problems in a difficult situation is one of them. This paper will examine and analyze the strategies utilized by a director of a neighbourhood committee, who successfully solves challenging problems (recorded in Neighborhood, a 2013 Chinese documentary TV show) by tàojìnhū - establishing an intimate status between her and her targets. This director skillfully employs different strategies with different people in respective situations by asserting a status of an insider with each of them. In one case, she was very deferential, indirect and tactful when talking with a difficult resident. This deferential and polite way fits well with the typical “Chinese communication style” rooted in the Confucian humanism that stresses warm human feelings between people (Bond, 1993; Fei, 1947; Gu, 1990; Hsu, 1981). However, in another case, she harshly criticized the target with brutal directness: attacking her role as a mother, her value as a human being, and threating her with a dire consequence, which is a typical “coercive impoliteness” (Culpeper 2011). Such bluntness conflicts with the commonly accepted notion of ‘polite’ Chinese, and baffles westerners (Hessler 2001, Kinnison 2000, 2014). However, both approaches adopted by this director, the author explains, are acceptable in Chinese culture among zìjǐrén, insiders. By using kinship terms, like gēge (elder brother) or jiějie (elder sister), as well as switching nín (vous) to nǐ (tu) and using an inclusive first person pronoun (zán), to address the targets, she managed to shorten the relational distance and creates an intimate insider status between her and the targets. This ‘created’ insider status gives her more freedom to choose either deferential, face-saving strategies, or more brutally straightforward face-attacking tactics. Although she ‘violates’ the general norms of Chinese politeness, her impoliteness or even rudeness is expected, appropriate, and sanctioned among insiders in Chinese culture. Therefore, her face-damaging approach is only “rapport impoliteness” because it indicates a close personal relationship and solidarity between interactants, which enhances rapport management (Spencer-Oatey 2000, 2005). The conclusion of this study is that limao, Chinese politeness is more of a formality for outsiders, but for insiders, not keqi (tactful or polite) but being direct or even rude is common and expected.

 


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